🖤 of the Letters

I want to tell you a story. It all began on a cloudy Saturday morning when my oldest sister, your mom Yazmin, rushed to the hospital; she was in labor. I was very nervous and extremely excited. I was finally going to become an AUNT (TIA in Spanish) for the first time. The morning turned into the afternoon and the afternoon turned into the evening. Finally, after much anticipation, you, Vasti Sarai Santos, were born. You came out of the room accompanied by the nurse and my mother, wrapped in a blanket and in full scream mode. The nurse stopped for a moment so I could snap a few pictures, and it was right there and then, that I loved you and promised to love you forever. I promised myself that I would try to be the best version of myself, to be a role model for you. I vowed to protect you and be there for you every step of way. I promised to be the best Tia.

 

As I took pictures, I talked to you and you stopped crying. The nurse told me to keep talking as you recognized my voice. I tell you, I believe it was the squeakiness in my voice that you recognized! Alas, the nurse had to take you away and you went with a scream just as you came. I watched as the nurse washed your tiny body and with every passing minute, my heart grew bigger and bigger and it began to glow with joy and love. Vasti, you arrived at the perfect time in my life. I was a teenager struggling to find my identity and trying to deal with life's struggles. You came to fill our house with baby silence, baby cry, baby food, baby smells (heavenly and nasty too) and baby love. I couldn't fathom the idea of how a tiny baby could change a house so much!

 

Time passed by and I forgot my many promises. I got wrapped up in school work and I would lock myself in my room with music to do my homework. You would come in and want to be there with me. You would sit on my bed and ask for paper and colours because you wanted to do homework just like your TIA. I will not lie, there were times I didn’t want you there because as any little kid, you asked questions and tried to get my attention so I would play with you. I thought I had all the time in the world to play and be with you but our time was suddenly shortened by unexpected events that separated us. You lived in one country while I lived in another. I will never forget the pain and the remorse I felt for all the lost time. I hoped to watch you grow and have Tia days alone with you, but instead I had to watch you grow from afar.

 

Now, you are a young, beautiful woman that is no longer the little girl I left behind. You are mature and wise beyond your years. Sometimes, you make me think and reflect on my ways. Truth be told, there have been times where I wasn't the best role model for you. I failed and hurt your heart in more than one way, something for which I hate myself, but it has made me grow. You inspire me every day to be a better woman. Why? I want you to see a role model, but most importantly, I want you to see Christ in me. I want you to know that you are not alone during the hard and heavy days. I want to be for you what many women have been for me: a friend, a mentor, a warrior partner, a prayer partner, and so much more. I want to pour into your life the same words that they poured into my life: words of encouragement, of truth, of faith, of love, and blessings.

 

I want to stand in the gap for you when the enemy tries to come against your womanhood; when the enemy tries to fill your mind and heart with shame and condemnation; when you feel lonely in a room full of people; when you carry a burden that you don’t need to carry; when you don’t know what to do; when you feel afraid; or when it gets too hard to keep going… I also want to celebrate every accomplishment, every step of obedience, every joyful moment, every decision, every blessing, and every victory. I want to be there every step of the way. Vasti, you are the HEART of the Letters to my Younger Soul. Just as I stand in the gap for you and I celebrate you, I want to stand in the gap for WOMEN and CELEBRATE THEM.

 

This website is a gift to you to share with other women. I want YOU and WOMEN to know that we all walk through valleys that seem deadly and treacherous. We climb mountains that seem too high and steep with deadly cliffs and muddy roads. But every step of the way, God is there to help us. He carries us in His loving arms and comforts us until we make it to the mountaintop. There might be times that we fail and fall but there is love, mercy and grace for all of us. I have experienced and seen how the enemy wants to destroy all of us. He fills our hearts and minds with fear, shame, anger, unworthiness, loneliness, weakness, and low self-esteem. He points his finger condemning and calling us a mistake. HOWEVER…

 

VASTI and LOVELY ONE, I want you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You are NOT A MISTAKE. You are WANTED. You are LOVED. You are BEAUTIFUL. You are WORTHY. You are HONORABLE. You are STRONG. You are COURAGEOUS. You are FEARLESS. You are BRAVE. You are CAPABLE. You are MORE THAN ENOUGH. You are INTELLIGENT. You are JOYFUL. You are UNIQUE. You are BLESSED. You are CREATED FOR A PURPOSE. You are CHOSEN. You are the ANSWER to someone’s prayer. You are HERE FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS. You are MORE PRECIOUS THAN JEWELS. You are WONDERFULLY MADE. You are VICTORIOUS. You are a MASTERPIECE. You are WHO GOD SAYS YOU ARE.

 

Vasti, my love, I love you so much. You make my heart glow with joy and love!

 

Love you with all my heart,

 

Your Tia! ❤