Beautiful Younger Soul,
It takes “one day” for your life to change completely. I will never forget that “one day” that changed my life. In my last letter, I left off in 2013.
2013
After spending two months at church, on March 3, 2013, my life changed. After the sermon, the Pastor led the church through Communion. It had been a while since I had taken Communion and it felt right, so I decided so partake of the Communion. The Pastor invited the church to ask God for something that we had been praying about and we were hoping for Him to answer. He told us that as we take Communion, we are partaking into God’s promises for us, which means we could ask God with confidence believing that He had already answered our prayer. The first thing that came to mind was my immigration status. I began to pray and asked God to give me my Canadian residency but halfway through my prayer, I stopped. At that point, I was tired of fighting, arguing and being so angry. I desperately wanted to breathe and feel free again. I prayed and asked God to change my life and heal my heart. I didn’t care if I was deported or if I stayed. I was tired and all I needed was a change of heart.
The next day, I was sitting at work when I got a call from my immigration lawyer. My lawyer had two reasons to call me; 1) he had bad news or 2) he was asking for a payment. I knew automatically that he wasn’t requesting a payment as I had just sent my monthly payment. I let it go into voicemail and at the first opportunity, I called. I went inside a small closet and dialed. At that moment, I felt how my heart sank and I was nervous and shaking. The lawyer’s legal aid answered the phone and she automatically recognized my voice. She said they had gotten a response back from my application and I got accepted. I was awarded my Canadian residency. Tears flooded my eyes out of joy and happiness. The day before I finally gave God a chance to heal my heart and within a few hours; He answered my prayer. I didn’t have to wait a month.
My Beautiful Younger Soul, you might be doubtful and might be thinking, “it was already in the mail” or “it was done before you prayed.” I wholeheartedly believe it was my small and simple prayer and my complete surrender to God that changed my life. God wanted me to surrender my heart and needs to Him. As I mentioned, I had been carrying it all and preventing Him to come into those broken areas. Once I allowed Him into my brokenness, He began His perfect work in my life.
By the end of the week, God also provided me with one full-time job. As I mentioned on my last letter, I was working five jobs and not even working 40 hours. But God. God gave me more than I had asked. I only asked for Him to change and heal my heart, but He answered my heart’s desires. God was faithful to me even when I didn’t deserve it. For the last year, I had been doubting His existence and I was angry at Him and blaming Him for all my troubles. He didn’t answer me according to my actions; He answered according to His mercy and love for me.
2014
It took a full year of paperwork and on May 13, 2014, I became officially a Canadian resident. All Glory to God!
I still remember that day. It was early morning, and I was at the immigration office waiting for my name to be called. As I sat there, I thought about my journey and how my life had changed. It had been an interesting year. God answered my prayer and He began to work in my heart. I won’t say it was an easy year. I had to surrender and bring everything to the foot of the Cross. The more He spoke into my heart, the more the enemy pulled at my heart as well. Some days I struggled with my thoughts, emotions, fears and insecurities. Other days, I struggled to find faith. But God. He kept pressing and searching for my heart. It wasn’t easy but it was worth it.
My name was finally called and the immigration officer and I exchanged paperwork. I signed documents and she finally said, “Welcome to Canada. We are glad to have you here.” At that moment, I felt my heart burst with joy and so much gratitude. So it was, nine years ago that I became a resident.
2022
It took me longer to become a Canadian citizen due to the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic. But on February 7, 2022, I took and passed my citizenship test. On July 19, 2022, God gave me the honour and privilege to become a Canadian citizen.
It has been almost a year since my citizenship. Honestly, I never thought I would make it this far. The journey has had more pain than I was prepared. The journey had deep, dark, and lonely valleys but I was never alone. God was with me and in every step of the way. Even when I couldn’t see Him or feel Him. He was there and He never forsake me. I kept walking away but He never gave up on me and instead, He pursued me.
In my life, I have been a work in progress for the last 10 years and I know I will continue to be a work in progress for the rest of my life. However, I know that I am no longer the same hurt and bitter person that I was 10 years ago. My Mom is the first one to admit that God has been working in my life and the change is evident. Many people might not see the change, but I no longer worry about that. Through these last 10 years, I have learned to love and see myself as God sees me and not how the world sees me. I know that my identity lies in what God has done for me and not what I’ve accomplished or how the world sees me. Although I am never going to be perfect, I know God will continue His work in my life until the day I die.
My Beautiful Younger Soul, I don’t know where you might find yourself now in your journey. You might find yourself so far away, doubting and thinking that God is not real. You might even blame God for every wrong thing that has happened to you. You’ve tried it your way for so long and I know you’re tired. You don’t have energy or hope. Here is what I know, God has big shoulders and He can take all that and more. All that He wants from you is your heart. He wants you to give it all to Him. He can take your pain away and change it for joy.
Let me challenge you just like my Mom did it with me so many years ago. Would you give God a month? What do you have to lose? Instead you have everything to gain! Trust me.
Love,
Older & Much Wiser You
“Now to Him who is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask or think [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, or dreams], according to His power that is at work within us,”
Ephesians 3:20 (AMP)
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